I’ve been here approximately 4/5 months now, and my first few months in London, I’m not going to lie – I didn’t like it.
It wasn’t New York.
Now, I am warming to my new home city, I’m happy with my job, I’m close to a lot of my friends and I’ve recently moved into a lovely new flat. Things are looking up, so here are a number of thoughts on London so far.
You Queue for Everything
All good restaurants will have about an hours wait, they are generally worth it.
I work on Oxford Street, so any shop will of course, have a queue.
You want to get into the club? Well, you’ll be hanging around for twenty minutes.
The best queue is for the right side of the escalator coming to or from the tube. The left side is clear, yet everyone is as lazy as the other, we would rather QUEUE for the side you don’t have to walk up than clamber up those metal moving steps.
I ain’t walking up those stairs, there’s a consistent feeling of impending doom that the person behind you will be in more of a rush.
It’s F*cking Huge
I’m used to living in walk-able cities, London is not walk-able.
You will not meet someone who has less than a thirty-minute commute to work, unless of course they live in their office building*.
I am also used to walking home after a night out, this is a no-go. I am thankful for the friends that force me on a bus or share Ubers.
Talor after a couple of wines is learning, and learning fast.
London is not – ‘just London’
I have come to the decision that London cannot be defined, it is not its own entity.
Each area of London has its own style, history and personality, describing something as ‘London’ would be like saying France and Spain are the same because they border with each other – and you would be wildly incorrect.
You can walk five minutes from one area to the other and feel like you’ve gone back in time – the changes are significant.
Crime is Inevitable
According to the wise wizard of the west, otherwise known as, Google, London’s population is over 8 MILLION people – of course there is going to be crime.
I told someone I was moving to Brixton, they said:
“Omg, I wouldn’t live there someone was stabbed there”
“Yes, but someone was stabbed on Park Lane yesterday”
One area much more affluent than the other, yet crime still happens.
It’s London, these things are inevitable, you just have to have your wits about you.
I’m used to the obvious arrogance of Americans, the ones who will shout MOVE in your face on the subway, they don’t mean it, you take it with a pinch of salt and overall it makes the subway journey easier when there’s someone taking control.
Not here, oh no.
British people are so awkwardly polite that it verges on incredibly rude. We would rather stand on top of someone than turn around and ask them to move a few inches. We will passively aggressively elbow someone in the ribs rather than interrupt that persons journey and say, ‘sorry, can you squish along a bit’.
We’ll apologetically smile and shrug at each other, but if you THINK, even THINK of speaking up on the tube, it’s as if you’ve just interrupted everyone in the library.
Baby on Board
Have you seen these? They are badges that pregnant women wear on the tube so they can get a seat.
They don’t say:
“I’m so sorry, but could I possibly have your seat?”
But no, here in Britain we shove this badge in peoples faces and watch them fumble from their seat.
Tempted to invest in one when I’m having a bad day.
Everyone is Beautiful
I’m sorry New York, but London beats you in terms of beautiful people.
Everywhere I look everyone is:
Incredibly well dressed
Clearly looks after themselves
and is altogether beautiful
I mean, the population is huge, which means the population of stunners is also high but this also means the pressure is on so you don’t get lost in the crowd.
Famous People Everywhere
I’ve seen more famous people here than I have, ever. I’ve seen:
Chris Moyles – who I grew up listening to
Ricki Hall – an Instagram model I’ve followed since I was Emo
Richard Madden – fitty from the Bodyguard
Idris Elba – I died and went to heaven
My friend also bumped into Jude Law, so I am going to count that as my own encounter as well…
That’s basically a celebrity a month, all I need now is to see Tom Hardy (and for him to fall in love with me) and my life will be complete.
Overall, London is exhausting to live in and I am yet to explore 90% of it, however, I am growing to love my new city and the passive aggressive people in it.
I do have more thoughts but this man is elbowing me on the tube and I’m about to give him a dirty look.
Until next time,
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