5 Tips on How Not to Move Into Your New House

For my first two months in London, I lived in a two bedroom flat in Wimbledon. Now, the reaction I get is usually ‘oooh fancy’, but no.

The heating didn’t work, I didn’t have the internet, I was 45 minutes away from all of my friends and my commute to work was the same. I am also a tiny girl in a large flat and you better believe I checked the cupboards every night to make sure a bad man wasn’t hiding in there. No, I didn’t think about what I would do if I did find one.

Last but not least, I didn’t have any curtains, and so my bed sheet became famous among my friends. Why? Because I hung a bed sheet up as a curtain, and it was a fitted sheet to make matters worse.

I am thankful for having somewhere to live over those months, I am even more thankful to be leaving it. You don’t realise how sh*t it is living alone until your favourite activity in the evening is to have a shower before you go to bed.

Anyway, my friend Charlotte and I put a deposit down on a flat in Brixton, and we finally moved into our brand new beautiful home this past weekend, and let’s just say – we learned a lot.

Don’t Pack A Suitcase you Can’t Lift

One of my guy friends said to me this weekend,

“I feel like all I do is carry your suitcase”

Which is absolutely true, I have a habit of packing a suitcase the same size as me and that weighs a lot more, which means it is a struggle for little old me. My friend, above, just so happened to be around when moving from New York, travelling AND moving home, and he was thankfully around on this particular day.

Did Charlotte and I take all the easy stuff up to the flat? Yes. Did we leave our suitcases for the boys? Yes.

If they hadn’t been around I think we would have been stuck in a ‘to me, to you’ situation.

Don’t Go to Ikea on a Saturday Afternoon

Imagine Disneyland on Christmas day except everyone is armed with either a trolley or a pram and there is only one path to follow around the entire theme park – Ikea on a Saturday.

As we walked around I was mesmerised by the beautiful fake rooms, as per usual, but after about half an hour of following the furniture maze I started to run ahead of everyone because the stressed out general public were surrounding me and I could feel myself slowly creeping towards their negative mood.

Then we got to the bit where you pick up the small stuff, you know, the reason why everyone is there. And let me tell you it was wonderful, there were tears and fall outs, lost children and moody men stood in corners – it was a TV show in itself. Don’t grab the last cactus though or they will bite your hand off.

3 hours, two mirrors, home accessories and some Swedish meatballs later we found ourselves lost in Ikea car park, but at least we had escaped.

Don’t Underestimate a Screwdriver

So, apparently, you need screwdrivers for everything (with nails, but that’s not the point). The trip to Ikea obviously resulted in furniture, which in turn resulted in building furniture which in turn lead to this sentence being repeated on multiple occasions:

“WE NEED A SCREW DRIVER”

We also kept mentioning how we wanted to meet the neighbours, so we put two and two together and I went over the landing and chapped on our neighbours door.

Me: HELLO I NEED A SCREWDRIVER, SORRY I’M YOUR NEIGHBOUR NICE TO MEET YOU, SCREWDRIVER THOUGH?!?

Him (topless) : Ha, sure

*Hands me toolkit*

We are women, who can build things and meet neighbours. (Kind of)

Don’t Drink Wine When You’ve Not Finished Sorting the House Out

You get excited, you have a bottle of champers, and then maybe some wine, OKAY THREE BOTTLES OF WINE.

The musics on, your chatting sh*te, the neighbours probably hate you already and all of a sudden it’s 2am.

Which brings me to my next point…

Don’t Buy a TV with a Hangover

Your head is foggy from the night before, you don’t want to spend any money but all you have in the house is an Amazon Firestick and nowhere to put it.

It was time to invest in a TV.

We entered a charity shop, found a TV that was priced at 150, we bartered to 100…we were still not sure…

Then we noticed that it was from 2011, and the extent that technology evolves these days it would basically feel like watching everything in black and white.

So we left the charity shop.

We then headed to Currys/PC World and exclaimed:

HELLO KIND SIR, WE WOULD LIKE THE BIGGEST TV FOR THE SMALLEST PRICE. 

We walked out with a TV and a food budget of £5 for the next three weeks,

Adulting 101.

Have you moved house recently? What did you learn?

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