It All Began In Tears #1

As mentioned previously I travelled for 3 weeks down the West Coast of America with my friends after a year in New York, and it will be our last destination, Vegas, that this story begins.

Throughout our travels, we were 90% living in two separate vans, with 10% spent in: an Air B&B, a hostel and (thankfully) a hotel. We kept the hotel for the end of our excursion due to knowing we would want those home comforts (like a normal shower) after three weeks.

It was by this hotel’s pool on our second last day in America that I had my first wobble of the whole trip. I’m one of those people who is absolutely appalling at sharing my emotions and would rather bundle everything up in my chest until I explode, which is exactly what happened.

As the tears rose up in my eyes (for no reason by the way they came at their own accord) I took myself up to our hotel room with some kind of terrible excuse, like I was too hot. The one person I go to when this rare occasion happens is, my Mum. I Facetimed her as soon as I got to the room and was full on ugly crying by the time she answered, bless her soul she must have got a shock as she must have thought I was living it up in Vegas.

Everything came crashing over me in a wave and I explained:

  • I was about to leave the people I had spent 24 hours, 7 days a week with for the past year – and I had no idea when I would see them again. (We all lived in different cities etc)
  • I had no job to go home too, as someone who has been employed since they were 15 years old, this was quite frankly unheard of.
  • I had no money because I used all of my savings in New York and my travels.

This is a position I have never been in before, I’ve never gone travelling for a long period of time so this is the first time I’ve had to say goodbye in this context, the travelling for three weeks is the longest I’ve never worked so knowing I wasn’t receiving any money at the end of the month was absolutely terrifying and I really didn’t know how to deal with it all.

I don’t know about you, but my Mum always knows how to cheer me up and I think it helped that she was super excited that I was going to be home soon.

One of the girls came in to drop towels off mid-conversation, saw me crying on the floor and gave me a big hug and a kiss – which of course started me crying again. Then when I was getting ready with my big puffy red face another of the girls clearly knew I had been crying and I could feel her hover near me until she said –

Are you okay?

And then the waterworks started again.

That night we went to see a saucy Cirque Du Soleil that we were super excited for and due to crying, I think I genuinely exhausted myself as I fell asleep during the performance. I’m not even embarrassed to say this is the second time I’ve done this during a Cirque Du Soleil in Vegas.

Maybe I should stop wasting my money on them?

Anyway, we watched the Bellagio Fountains and a man lose hundreds of thousands of dollars on the roulette tables and then we headed back to the hotel ready to start packing for us officially leaving the states.

The picture used for this blog post was taken on the same day.



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I wrote this located in: Noir Edinburgh

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