On an unusual night where Flo and I found ourselves staying in, our conversation turned to dating apps. Both completely terrified of meeting a stranger, we usually end up in fits of laughter at the conversations we have with people, how we have been completely ghosted or the whole concept of the dating ‘game’. Let’s face it, using these apps is a game, there is no way you don’t find swiping right or left fun.
In a dream world my perfect scenario would be meeting someone ‘naturally’ in a bar or through friends, etc. In this day and age our entire lives coincide with our phone, so now it appears I have to keep up with the times and hope that someone thinks I am attractive enough for a ‘like’ and their favourite cheesy chat up line.
My comments will be in this font and Flo’s will be in Italics.
Seeing as February is supposedly the month of looooove my beloved Talor and I set out to find our American stallion. So the first move in our strategic plan was to download the apps. Hinge, Tinder and The League were my tools to finding love. We spread our wings and … in reflection, probably spread our efforts a little too thin.
- Tinder: the classic swipe right or left
- Hinge: Give three facts about yourself, you can like a persons answers or photos
- The League: judged on who you are, only get 5 people to choose from a day
I personally hate Tinder, I have never liked it. Then I bumped into a friend who said she was going on a Tinder date and then I thought maybe I was using it wrong. Re-downloaded it during Flo and I’s conversation and the only person (thing) I matched with was a dog – Mr Wigglesworth, as much as Mr Wigglesworth was cute, adorable and cuddly – he just wasn’t for me and I promptly re-deleted Tinder.
Also, why does everyone in the New York area love catching fish? The amount of boys holding fish in their pictures is unbelievable – MAN CATCH FISH MUST BE SUITABLE PARTNER.
Tinder, it’s a big fat nope from me – Rating: 2/10
I don’t think I have ever, ever encountered so many absurd names as the singletons on Tinder in New Jersey.
Tinder, from my experience is unfortunately inundated with hundreds, if not thousands of unappealing men. I spent around 10 minutes of tireless left swiping before I stumbled upon a maayyybbbbeee (at a push).. However, apparently, girls may have better luck on Tinder by the looks of things..
I did stumble upon a real good looker.. Dustin, but I don’t think he understood my humour, left me hanging and deleted the conversation.
For the sheer likes from those 3850 men, boys, cats and dogs that swipped right for me – I’m gonna give Tinder a 4/10.
No, I have not met anyone from Hinge (haven’t quite got there yet) but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been asked (evidence above). Why didn’t I go you ask?
Well, I guess I learnt my lesson when I re-visited this persons profile, put myself off and completely ghosted them. What put me off? My anxiety ridden mind of knit picking everything that I would DEFINITELY hate about them (but probably wouldn’t at all).
I love Hinge because it essentially starts the conversation for you, there’s around 4 pictures or videos of yourself plus three facts of your choice such as ‘My last meal would be…’, ‘I want to travel to…’ etc.
One of mine is ‘My ideal date would be…’ and my answer is ‘Medjool’.
C’maaaaaaaaan that’s a good one!
I give this rating to Hinge for the fun factor, I took away points because I haven’t actually met anyone yet (more my fault than Hinge but you have to blame someone) – 8/10
Hinge, is M Y F A V O U R I T E .. the layout, the mixture of photos, responses, the diversity of talent, it’s great fun. I’ve spoken to people looking for their biological dogs, people who get football and soccer mixed up, dentists, people who work at Google and people I randomly bump into at karaoke in Brooklyn (don’t recommend bumping into people you have matched with randomly at karaoke)..
Talor and I have had endless debates about what answers to put down and my profile is constantly evolving, its developing and growing into a better profile everyday. So much so, that I got asked out, after 3 and half weeks on the app, an actual person (hopefully they’re legitimate, not sure about their spelling) but he asked me out. So watch this space…
Hinge, who knows, maybe Talor and I may meet a man on there, maybe we may meet each other. Either case would be great. For that Hinge you get a 8/10 .
The League is terrible, I have never been on a worse dating app in my entire life. It’s pure existence is everything I hate about the world, sometimes I wish I could take it out of my phone put it on the ground and stomp on it like a spoiled toddler.
That is, if I could actually get on it.
I have been on the waiting list for the League for a while now, I currently reside at 47,538 in New York and 244,316 in the world, if that doesn’t get your self confidence down I don’t know what would. By the time I leave the USA I guarantee I will still not be on The League. Also, it likes to rub the fact that I am not on it by messaging me absolutely appalling jokes. What I will say is that everyone who has it, says that it is awful, so HA.
The League sucks -10/10, no you’re bitter about it.
The League, is dreadful. The experience from the minute I downloaded it was ghastly. I was number 1 out of 44,570 people for 3 weeks, and that was with a recommendation code. Your Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn profiles all get screened to make sure your legit and you can specify the education level, religion, race & height of individual you see on the app. The concept is you only get to see 5 people per day released at 5pm. Half of my suggested matches happened to be adverts. More often than not to a comedy club or a couples yacht day.. WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO TO A COUPLE YACHT DAY WITH NO ONE TO GO WITH, HENCE WHY I’M ON THIS APP.. Needless to say I didn’t appreciate these adverts..
The league, I was on you for 3 weeks and didn’t like a single man.. And for that, you’re taking up precious storage space on my phone and you are outttaaa hereeeee. (3/10)
Flo and I like to give each other positive pep talks after a wine or two, both coming to the conclusion that we are in fact amazing people and if others don’t see that, then that is their fault not ours…… (I’m actually laughing writing this because these pep talks do happen.)
However, we also came to the conclusion that apps suck, I think we can all agree that at any point in our lives we have probably ended up with someone that you would never imagine but you have the best time – these apps stop that. The fact that they are so superficial and you have to deal with truly AWFUL small talk it’s just garbage and as Flo said – they just take up memory on your phone.
In conclusion, neither of us came out with a date – but that’s okay I think we can both deal with that, we do have each other after all.
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