Do you remember when you go home and your parents are like ‘What have you learned today?’ and you just want to be like NOTHING because who wants to talk about school when you’ve just escaped it?
Anyway, clearly as you grow up you want to discuss the things you have learned otherwise how on earth are you going to keep a conversation going?
Or am I adulting wrong?
Do NOT get a picture with Micky Mouse/Iron Man/Batman
On Times Square, they will make you pay and from what I hear (as I have managed to avoid it no matter how much they manhandle me) it is bloody expensive. And no, you cannot get a picture with them and run as there are signs telling you, you HAVE to pay.
On that note I don’t remember Micky Mouse being a tanned sweaty man or Captain America eating too many pies – they have really let themselves go.
The cinema will give you bed bugs
Well, only some.
Mainly the busiest ones (*cough* Midtown *cough*) – think about it. Bed bugs love fabric, people + cinema chairs = bed bugs.
Don’t shoot the messenger.
The police love a pic
Well, they don’t LOVE it. But I assure you I hear daily:
“Can I ask that officer to take a picture with me.”
Yes, yes you can, and they will smile a big grin like that wasn’t the 100th time they have just been asked.
The police horses are okay with it too.
Don’t say ’em’
You know when you are thinking about something and you go ’emmmmmm’ – well I do it ALL the time, even when I don’t need to the word ’em’ seems to slip out of my mouth.
Unfortunately I have noticed how often due to the clothing I have bought recently as every shop emails your receipt to you. After spelling my email to the cashier and they ask me to check it, nearly every time it comes back with:
email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org or even email@example.com
Have you ever thought about how you order coffee?
I love a mocha, as I have a giant sweet tooth and love coffee, so this combination is perfect.
However apparently in America if you ask for a moh-ka this means nothing you have to ask for a MOW-KA.
Yeah, I don’t get it either.
Keep going, never stop in the middle of the pavement. I have been huffed at, puffed at, growled at and my favourite:
“PICK A LANE LADY”
If you want to stop and take a picture bring your driving lessons back, look left, look right and stop safely.
The one thing I was excited about when moving to New York was the fact that I will be getting every single season. What I did not expect is how fast the seasons change.
One day I did not need a jacket, worrying about my make up running down my face from the heat and the next it felt like the Dementors* had swooped in and sucked the sunshine out of the city and replaced it with the temperature of ‘bloody freezing’.
*Harry Potter reference
$10 for nothing
I have only just discovered, that due to the fact that I live in Jersey City I have to pay a $10 toll every time I get a taxi from New York to Jersey – no matter where I am or how far it is going $10 will be added.
I hate Uber anyway (that’s a story for another time) but I am avoiding taxi’s as much as I possibly can for so many reasons.
Machine guns are the norm
Police carry them in the street, and the army are there to greet me every morning of my commute.
At first it was bloody terrifying, now unfortunately it is normal to see them carrying weapons. I mean, obviously it is still terrifying but just slightly less.
Broadway is bloody expensive
I wanted nothing more to go and see a Broadway show with my parents as they as visiting over the Christmas period. I have looked at the tickets every day JUST IN CASE there was a mistake, but no, just about any show ranges from $160 – $300 and unfortunately that just isn’t feasible.
I did however manage to grab tickets for The Rockettes, so fingers crossed its a good ‘un!
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