You’re Invited

Who would you invite to your ‘Famous person’ dinner party?

Mark Zuckerberg 

I would ask: Are you genuinely trying to help the world? Because I can’t help but feel you are trying to take it over. Also, what do you have against Snapchat? Also – will you hire me?

We would drink: Some terrible L.A green smoothie that tastes like pond water but cures all.

Amy Roiland a.k.a The Fashion Nerd 

I would ask: How are you so cool? Can you make me cool? Cool, cool? Cool? Call me?

We would eat: Veg snacks with hummus in the middle sorted into an array of colours to match whatever Amy is wearing, because I am that guy. (I told you I wasn’t cool)

The Kaplan Twins 

I would ask: Can I have one of those prints of your boobies? Is that weird? Do people actually buy the paintings where you sit on their face? I am so intrigued by your art.

Pizza: Something easy to consume so I can digest their answers.

Wolfie Cindy 

I would ask: HOW DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT?!?!

We would eat: Nothing, I currently feel terrible about myself. (Just kidding I would eat another slice of pizza on the down low.)


I would ask: Who are you? Can I stay at The Walled Off Hotel? Can I follow you around for a night?

We would eat: I imagine he (OR SHE) would have a mask on, so something consumed with a straw – such as a MILKSHAKE.

Aspen the Mountain Pup 

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Oh yeah baby, it’s road trip time!

A post shared by Aspen the Mountain Pup (@aspenthemountainpup) on

I would ask: Who’s a good boy?

We would eat:  Who cares, f*ck the food, belly rubs all round.

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