10 (More) Things I’ve Learned Living in NYC

Cars will turn even though it’s ‘safe’ to cross the road

Yes, the little man is telling you it is safe to walk, but no it is not safe.

Cars can still turn right even if you are walking over, some go slowly (as they should) others couldn’t give two craps if there are pedestrians in the way (*cough* taxi’s *cough*).

Cyclists will also keep going because apparently there are no rules, or they just don’t obey them.

Who even knows.


Coriander is cilantro and spring onions are scallions

An aubergine is an eggplant.

A biscuit is a cookie.

A savory scone is a biscuit.

Broad beans are fava beans.

Courgette is a zucchini.

Doner kebabs are gyro’s.

And mince beef is ground beef.

Yes it is annoying, no I haven’t got used to it and I imagine there is many more.

Do you know how annoyed I was that I had no idea what scallion cream cheese was for a  very long time? I LOVE SCALLIONS, I mean spring onions…WHATEVER.


The Subway has no Times

Once you go through that barrier and have no phone signal, you are screwed.

There’s supposed to be a timetable for you to  look at – but your chances of finding it? Zero. And if you do find it there is probably someone intimidating or asleep covering the times.

You just gotta sit and wait and hope to god it doesn’t get any hotter down there.


They don’t know what clicking your fingers is

I went to a Sam Smith concert (name dropping 101) and he said ‘everyone click your fingers’.

The audience went silent, looked at each other in confusion and it got really awkward.

Just kidding, it wasn’t that dramatic – but they seriously didn’t know what he meant until his backing singer said ‘snap your fingers, snap’ – and so the concert went on.


The date is backwards

The month goes first, I have filled out quite a few official documents wrong and I still haven’t learned.

E.G 2nd June 1993 is 06/02/93 – remember that date it’s important (my birthday).

But it’s fine because when I hand over my driving licence they get confused when they look at my birthday.

Potato pohtahto.


Emergency services sirens sound like cats having a bad day
This is not a joke, they are very very loud, very very angry sounding and just plain strange.

I don’t know why but I just assumed everyone’s sirens would sound the same but these are literally like wailing banshees being dragged through a bush being told they can never see the sun again.

At least you know they are coming I guess.


There’s no pound signs on an American keyboard

Genuinely quite insulted by this, we have dollar signs (don’t we?) so why on earth do they not have pound signs?!?! It is very confusing having to write GBP after money terms because the normal sign doesn’t exist.

I don’t like it Mr Gates, or whoever is in charge of keyboards.

That is correct I am talking to you.


Their dental hygiene is immaculate 

They brush their teeth and floss after every single meal.

I’m not kidding, the work bathroom is filled with people scrubbing their nashers.

Everyone does it, they are everywhere – they make me feel terrible that I don’t do it – but then someone told me that this is actually bad for my teeth.

If you know anything about teeth please dial – 0800 HELP – A – GAL – OUT , or leave a comment below.

You cannot say half past six. 

Or half past anything for that matter, it is six THIRTY.

God dammit get it right.


NEXT GUEST PLEASE 

I guess this is slightly nicer and less aggressive to hear when you are in a store or the cinema or anywhere really.

You are not a customer, you are a guest – and I kinda like that.

Plus everyone is so much nicer in stores and restaurants here, I don’t know if it’s just British culture to hate your job, but these guys don’t.

Well, some of them.

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10 things I have learned living in NYC. (2)

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