Coffee Star Signs for #UKCoffeeWeek

In honour of #UKCoffeeWeek I thought I would guess what coffee you order according to your starsign.


You are impatient and you are NOT waiting on some fancy pants frothy milk on the top of your coffee, you just want that goddamn buzz.

So.. you order an Espresso. 


You appreciate beauty, you are a magpie to attractive things. Latte art, yeah you like it, BUT IS IT GOOD ENOUGH, oh hell no! You appreciate BEAUTY you want that OTT Instagrammable shit.

So.. you get a rainbow coffee.


I am a Gemini, and as I know, as I am sure other Gemini’s do too, we are easily bored. One day I’ll be having a flat white, the next I’ll have a mocha, and the day after that I might dive into a cappuccino.

We can’t help it, soz. order EVERYTHING.


You like a comfy home, friends and family. You are not bothered about the finer things as long as you are surrounded by the people who are most important to you. You would be happy with anything as long as you are drinking it with your best pal.

So, you order a long black.


Your star sign represents a LION, strong, courageous and you know exactly how to get what you want. Even if you are a bit of a d*ck while trying. You love drama and being a bit complicated. order a really long winded coffee that pisses everyone off. (Like a peppermint, mocha frappuccino with skimmed milk, but full fat cream)


YOU STRIVE TO FIND PERFECTION, there is nothing more gutting than when you get a shit coffee. So you have found your favourite coffee shop and your favourite coffee because it’s the same every time. That’s right you’re there, 8.30am sharp and the cafe even knows your name.

So, you’re the latte guy.


According to the random website I am using to write this list, Libra’s surround themselves with beauty and art. You adore the ART of making coffee from the grinding of the beans to the tasting process, every aspect is incredibly important to you.

So.. you order a pour over.


You enjoy a lively and heated debate, so you are the guy who stands at the front of the queue asking a million and one questions about the coffee beans pissing everyone else off behind you.

So, you order nothing because the coffee wasn’t good enough for you.


You have ALL THE ENERGY. You are Mr/Mrs Energy, if you had a coffee your new nickname would be Sonic the Hedgehog.

So, you order decaf.


You are a born problem solver, you are the one friends go to for advice, when the printer is broken at work and the one everyone wants on their team at the local pub quiz. You like to solve problems, like the fact you don’t like coffee but you really kinda need it.

So, you order a mocha.


According to the random star sign website I am using, you are unorthodox and unconventional. This means you don’t like coffee in a mug, a paper cup or even in a plastic frappuccino situation.

So, you order an ice cream cone coffee.


You care more about everyone else more than you care about yourself. You just want to make the person’s day who is making your coffee, so you always ask what they suggest you should have, or what they enjoy making the most.

So, you have whatever you are given and whether you like it or not you always tell them how lovely it is.

Don’t take this seriously, all a bit of fun guys, just a bit of fun.

Happy UK Coffee Week!

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