The Rules of Eating Cereal on National Cereal Day

Cereal must always be in a glass jar for aesthetically pleasing purposes, this is due to Khloe Kardashians unique phenomenon that no one has ever heard of that it is neat and tidy to keep food in large expensive glass jars. 

You must accompany your cereal with a rose, it’s been there for you every morning, it is filled with luck and charm(s),it’s woken you up with a milky kiss and provides sugar when you need it the most.

A rose is the least you can do. Don’t be this guy and give a dead one, that’s just rude.

You must have the best experience possible while eating cereal, one example of this is to have a form of green plant next to you, must be alive. 

Eating cereal while mother nature purifies the air through her photogenic green leaves is an experience even the wonders of Hygge can’t compare to. 

If you are incapable of making your own bowl of cereal today then the only option is to visit a cereal cafe where the bowl itself will cost more than the box of cereal. 

You MUST always check it is a legit cereal cafe before entering, you can do this by looking out for – beards, nostalgic toys, Dr Martens, a queue outside and cartoon themed cereal on the menu. 

Your cereal must always be accompanied by milk. 

Acceptable options include: milk, milk, milk and chocolate milk (but only on Sundays). 

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Fridays were made for pooping #unicornpoop Photo @mahdz

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If your cereal is not multi-coloured and veers off the rainbow scale you are not attempting to induce a migraine through e-numbers correctly. 

On National Cereal Day you should be able to be the last man standing at an illegal rave purely on sugar consumption. 

Now that you have your rules, go on pour yourself a bowl and feel alive again. 

This is clearly sarcasm, please do not take it seriously.


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