What You Should Make For Dessert This Christmas

Last year I made an Amaretto trifle (you are welcome) for dessert and it went down well (I believe) or it could have been a Rachel from Friends situation where everyone pretended it was amazing but actually just left their dish in the bathroom.

Will Friends references ever get old? If you don’t know what I am talking about then clearly I am getting old. OH GOD SOMEONE GET THE EMOTIONAL VIOLIN OUT.

“What’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Beef, GOOOOOD!”

Anyway, once again dessert is down to me and I am having a dilemma. Do I make something chocolatey? Not everyone likes chocolate and it might be too heavy after dinner? What about a carrot cake? No, that’s like the Marmite of desserts. Should I make two? One chocolate one something else? NO TALOR THATS TOO MUCH WORK.

I don’t know about you, but I’d be lost without Pinterest. I’ll figure it out soon I hope, but in the meantime this is what I have been looking at so far.

The Good…. 

A NUTELLA TREE. A NUTELLA TREE. The only thing wrong with this dessert is that it is not actually a tree that grows Nutella, we all know we would have one in our home. This dessert LOOKS easy and it is half Nutella and half butter pastry, not much can go wrong and if people don’t like it you can let them know where the door is.

However, this is Pinterest we are talking about. Mine would probably look like an arrow head that got stuck somewhere it shouldn’t.

NOW. THIS. THIS. Looks fancy as f*ck and yet will be easy as pie to make. (Why do people say that? Pie isn’t easy to make?) Meringues – simple, Fruit – simple. Ticks all the boxes because it is FRUITY and CHOCOLATEY and if people don’t like fruit or chocolate they just don’t have to eat that component. OMG CHRISTMAS PERFECTION MUCH?

Still, your a lazy f*cker if you make these, last minute rush in my book.

The Bad…

Right, two things that annoy me. Are you ready?

If someone put a truffle in front of me as a dessert I would be gutted. Today I read that we consume around 12 Big Mac’s worth of calories on Christmas day (SOURCE) and if I don’t get my 12 Big Macs worth of food I will be GUTTED. It is the one time of year eating whatever I want is excusable so if you put a chocolate in front of me. No. No. No.

Two, peppermint is meh, candy canes are delicious, broken up candy canes get stuck in your teeth for the rest of the night and you can’t taste anything else. No.No.No.

Now, this looks utterly DIVINE and sounds like my kind of HEAVEN. However, this is the kind of dessert I would like someone else to make. If The Great British Bake Off has taught me anything, it’s that roulades are a pain in the arse, and I just don’t know if I can deal with that kind of stress before Christmas day, you know what I mean?

So what I am trying to say is, can someone else make it for me?

Actually, don’t I’ll get jealous because your dessert will be better than mine.

The Ugly… 

I’m sorry, are you trying to insinuate that I am fat? Is there a reason why you have put fruit in front of me? BECAUSE IT BETTER BE A GOOD ONE.

The only fruit that is acceptable at Christmas is when it is part of a dessert or mince meat.NOT AN ENTIRE DESSERT. I will leave this kind of bollocks to January where I will be pretending to be healthy like the other sheep.

 

Right, first of all. WHY are you giving me pancakes as a dessert?

SECONDLY. WHY HAVE YOU GIVEN ME A TOMATO WITH MY PANCAKES AND WHERES THE SYRUP AT?

What will happen now is I will make one of these and my family will be like ‘THATS THE EASY DESSERT YOU CHOSE, or, WHY ARE YOU ONLY GIVING US TRUFFLES, or WHY IS THERE A TOMATO ON MY PANCAKE.

Well, because thinking of a Christmas dessert is hard OKAY.

In other news…I have been nominated for a UK Blog Award and if you enjoy my content please give me a vote by following this link: Vote for Talor and if you don’t like my content follow this link: Still vote for me, don’t be heartless.

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