The Food You Should Eat While Wearing A Christmas Jumper

Do you love Christmas jumpers or hate them? Regardless we all seem to end up wearing them one way or another.

This is the knowledge you never thought you needed.

If you are wearing something as atrocious as this….

jumper-2 ASOS

….you will probably be found drunk at the corner of the house party eating these, because you held off all night and the jumper didn’t live up to its expectations. 

If you think you are classy and end up wearing something that looks nothing like a Christmas jumper….

jumper-3River Island

….you will find yourself telling everyone you have never tried bucksfizz and only have champagne cocktails. We all know you are lying. 

If you base your style off of Zoey Deschanel you will probably find yourself wearing this…

jumper-4Topshop

….while telling everyone how much you love animals while stuffing your face with pigs in blankets.  

If you are wearing a Christmas jumper you can get away with all year round….

jumper-5Urban Outfitters

….you are the lazy asshole who brought the cheeseboard to dinner. 

If your jumper lights up…. 

jumper-7Primark

….you deserve a medal, in the shape of the chocolate coins all of your grandparents gave you. 

 

Saturday 🙌 #christmas #coffee #magicandsparkle #gold #NYCmug #chocolatecoins #treats

A post shared by Jen Wing (@wingy642624) on

If you are wearing Christmas socks instead of a jumper…. jumper-8Urban Outfitters

….GET OUT OF MY F*CKING HOUSE. 

*This is all a joke I love Christmas jumpers, the cheesier the better. Don’t take this seriously. 

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