Botanical Week : Great British Bake Off

The thoughts that go through my head while watching the Great British Bake Off.

8.02pm Fantastic yellow shirt coming from Mel or Sue

8.03 Oh Val it breaks my heart you were sent home, it should have been someone else!!! *Cough* Tom *Cough*

8.04 Oh right Jane ‘Its my week’ calm down don’t dig yourself a hole here. Jeezo.

8.04 Mary, once again a fantastic jacket situation. Is it a leather jacket? Is it a blazer? Who knows MB is rockin’ it.

8.05 SELASI look at you getting into the theme with your fantastic flowery shirt. YOU GO MY MAN.


8.06 Apologies that was my cat sitting on my laptop. She has now been shunned.

OOOH SO RECTANGULAR SELASI . Sorry did you just tell me you are serving syphilis?

8.09 Andrew doing Key Lime Pie, that reminds me of the only dessert the Sims would allow you to make……just me?

8.11 Put the lime in the coconut Jane? HAHAHA WHAT A CLASSIC….snooze

8.12 OOh Candice your cake looks sassy with a side of sass, slash where the hell is your lipstick. What’s going on? Seeing your lips bare is like seeing a teacher out of school….just wrong.

8.14 I’d let Selasi hold any meringue over my head

8.16 I’m not going to lie Candice, that looks like a headache of a pie. It’s so GREEN

Fancy meringue work from all, pat on the shoulder etc.

8.18 Nailed it Benjamina, pressures on Selasi. However his looks beautiful, pomegranate…nice touch. Looks more like a cheesecake than a pie…..PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER SELASI.

8.19 Rav that is a sloppy mess, I think I would be slightly scared to eat it

Andrew, flat as a pancake, there is no point in even buying a bra for it.


Nay one knows what a FOO-GAS is and it sounds boring.

8.23 Paul is informing us of how many slashes it needs, you’re making me need a slash now mate, move along.

It looks like a leaf, how exciting………………………………………………………

8.24 IT’S YOUR CINEMA SNACK,  would you like your shoes shined at the same time? Excuse me while I eat my liquid cheese and Nachos.

8.25 Why is it everytime there is a technical, they are surprised the instructions are basic? They are not exactly going to be like SURPRISE HERE IS EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.

8.28 Everyone online is talking about a romance between Selasi and Benjamina *hearts break everywhere* If they are both in the final it will be like the Hunger Games all over again.

8.29 Fou-gas-tric bands! Hahahaha that was a good one Mel or Sue

8.30 Uhoh Jane has fucked it, thought you were going t nail it this week Jane? Spoke to soon did we ? Hmm? Hmmm?

8.31 Selasi looking like a majestic dolphin while chilling on the floor

8.35 Uch, Tom wins. Snooze.

Blah blah bitching about contestants.


8.40 Candice your cake looks like it will be beautiful…..if only….if only… had the lipstick on to match

Boyfriend refused to watch the Bake Off so decided to watch the football next to me with headphones in, one headphone at a time has been removed and all of a sudden I hear….It’s not going to work! ….the Bake Off pulls in everyone….everyone

8.42 Glitter and flowers? Selasi’s going all out. Representing the lads, and every womans heart in Britain….whaaaaat.

8.44 Have only just realise the background glockenspiel music is like the Countdown music mixed with a horror movie, a mixture of pure anxiety and shit your pants scary with a touch of childrens programme.

8.45 Rav? You don’t do pretty with your cakes? What part of ‘show stopper’ do you not understand? You simply can’t win the bake off if your decoration is pure shite.

8.48 Holy shit Selasi’s looks like a proper fancy wedding cake.

8.49Oh Jane, that looks like a childs finger painting.

8.50 I thought Candice’s would have looked better if I am completely honest.

8.51 OO ANDREW THATS A BURN FROM MARY, You piped BULBS… BULBS what are you thinking?!? ‘It’s so subtle I can’t find it’ Mary is being cruel tonight. That’s the kind of phrase that would make anyone cry.

8.52 Rav not fantastic mate, but not as bad comments as Andrew.

8.53 I beleive, BELEIVE Jane may have been slightly cocky at the beginning of this episode. Ooft Paul is sorry for you Jane….#Bummer

8.54 SELASI YOU GO SELASI ‘ That is certainly a show stopper’.

EVERY SINGLE LAYER PERFECT…..just like your eyes.

8.55 Tom’s up. Green tea? Could we not have had one episode where Green tea DIDN’T APPEAR.

8.27 I swear to god if they give Tom star baker instead of Selasi I will never watch the bake off again. **Until next Wednesday when it is back on at 8


8.58 Rav?! Rav?! Rav is really really good. Have Mary and Paul been smoking funny cigarettes?

I’m over it. *screams inwardly*

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*Featured Image from the Great British Bake Off’s Twitter Page







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